Chernobyl Diaries

Star Rating:  2 stars

(for Star Rating key: https://madtimemama.wordpress.com/mama-and-papa-movie-reviews/)

Eesh.  Ok. So, I for one, LOVE scary movies.  Yes, I have a hard time watching scary parts and I close my eyes in some spots.  However, I just love the thrill of a good scary movie whether it be zombies, ghosts, psychopaths, exorcisms or in this case radiation mutated human beings. This movie however was BORING.  COMPLETELY BORING.  There were parts that had good ideas and even made me cringe.  However,  nothing to really push it over the threshold into actually being a good scary movie.  It centers around a group of college age peeps who go to explore the remains of the Chernobyl disaster.  Without even seeing the movie, we can gather from past experiences with these types of movies that:

1) Of course, not everything is going to go as planned.

2) People will go missing, and they will perish in a horrible, gooey sort of way.

3) Anything having to do with radiation immediately makes you think of slimy mutated HUGE fore-headed alien-like gap-toothed creatures.  **

4) There can be only one survivor. Which lucky soul will it be?

Now, from the get-go, this movie was BORING. BORING.  BORING.  Here’s why:

1) Takes too long for ANYHING to even remotely happen to get the story going.

2) Why do people make obvious bad choices in horror movies?  Seriously, it’s like they base the characters on the dumbest people on the planet.  God bless ‘em.  Alas, that’s why they make good stories (sometimes).  It would require more effort to write the plot points if the characters made SMART choices, I guess.

3) The dialogue was AWFUL.

4) The “secret” was way predictable.  ** see #3 above.

5) Though they hinted at the “secret” all during the movie, and showed shadowy figures lurking in the darkness, they never ever really showed what was there.  Just swift movement and small shots of the actual creatures.  I love the element of the “unknown.”  However, I also like to see the creatures once the secret has been explained.  It’s like they weren’t very interested in it either.  Meh.

I have been craving a good scary movie for quite some time.  After Paranormal Activty 3’s disappointing show, I needed this for the Halloween season.  Unfortunately, it did nothing for me.  Have the days of the Horror genre gone the way of the Dodo? I guess I should just stick to the classics around Halloween time.

A quote from my husband: “In Russia, even the bears look Russian.”

A quote from me:  “Jessee McCartney is one of the actors in this flick.  That should have tipped me off before I even watched it.  You remember him right?  He’s the Justin Bieber prior to the Justin Bieber craze. And he sucks. Big time. Also, blonde hair is much better for your skin tone, Jesse.”