Wa-HAAAA-Hoooooooooooooooooooh! Look who’s back? So I missed the Emmys. Big whoop. I’ve been off of social media for 10 months pretty much. Not gonna lie, it was great. If you haven’t taken a break from “laying it all out there on the interweb,” I suggest you try it. It’s like erasing 1000 voices from your head all at once. Do I sound crazy? Maybe I am. Or maybe I’m a genius. It’s all a matter of opinion.
Buckling down… here we go. People’s Choice 2015 FASHION. Where did the gowns go? Is it just me or when did award shows get so casual? I don’t mind occasionally donning a special innovative outfit and taking risks (cuz I do it so often walking briskly between my bedroom and living room)…. But people don’t want to see boring cocktail dresses and pants suits. Celebrities (as sad as it is) are America’s version of royalty. When you think of royalty, you think of princesses and princes. When you think of princesses and princes, you think of ball gowns. I want to see peeps get down to the nitty gritty formal attire for these events. Jeez. Is nothing sacred anymore?
Grab your Diet Sundrop and your bonbons. Lets dive in and get started with all the bummers and end with the positives.
**copyright claim** all photos are courtesy of just about every single entertainment website on the internet.
#AllWrongNoMatterWhichWayYouSliceIt
Chloë Grace Moretz
Why even leave the house? Did you actually say “I think I’ll wear this to the People’s Choice. It’s perfect.” While mismatched is what you were looking for, it comes across as a slice of bacon wrapped enthusiastically around a lace table cloth. Cool shoes though and your make up is flawless.
Ariel Winter
Is this a dress? Or a skort? (hahah for some reason I laugh when I say SKORT out loud.) You know this outfit reminds me of a story. In my middle school youth days, I was pals with this gal who was probably considered a part of the “in crowd.” She was always concerned with how great she looked, if her hair was hot rolled, and how good her butt looked in jeans from The Limited (is that store still open? Does anyone even shop there any more?). She was good at looking good. She looked GREAT. Flawless. Every hair in place, every accessory perfectly situated. A timeless beauty in most ways. She was someone who everyone wanted to be friends with just so you could walk down the hall beside her in between classes. This is of course as a wind machine blew her hair back dramatically and with a ray of light shining behind her. All while I strutted every ounce of coolness just to keep up with her in slow motion to the tune of “I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight” and everyone stopped in their tracks to look at her (and me.. I thought.. HA!). The good ole days. Anyways, one day she wore plaid shorts with a sleeveless shirt and a matching vest in the dead of winter in middle TN. Keep in mind, that doesn’t sound so far fetched when you realize it was the early 90s. It was THAT winter where there was one of the storms that collided to create “The Perfect Storm” — the storm the movie is based on. Anyways, curiously, I asked this pal of mine the obvious question (I didn’t gain the nickname “Captain Obvious” as a teenager for no reason). I said “Friend, you’re wearing shorts. Are you aware of this? It is wintertime.” She very reassuringly said, “Allye, these are ‘Winter Shorts.” Said in a magical, disapproving tone… ok.. There is no point to this story other than I just wanted to tell it. But I digress. This outfit reminded me of that little gem of a memory. Only this outfit just looks like Ms. Winter forgot to put her pants on and she’s about to rip off the coat and show some tassles. How old is she? 16? **sigh** These girls keep dressing like this younger and younger.
You wanna see what I looked like at 16? C’mon. You know you wanna. Here it is.
Even better.. here is in 1992!
Yea, that’s the stuff!
Rita Volk
C’mon folks. Do I really need to explain what is wrong with this picture? This ain’t the MTV Movie Awards honey. Hm. One would think this chick wouldn’t show up on any fashion list. Probably why I don’t even know who this gal is. Good luck on the next MTV soap opera drama you crawled out of.
#CutOutAllTheCutOutCrap
Kelly McCreary
See, here’s a perfectly nice outfit (not necessarily ranks as a choice for an awards show, but for afternoon tea . . . maybe). However, why have a peekaboo cut out triangle when it’s not needed?
Katharine McPhee
You know, this is an adorable dress. Maybe for Amal Clooney’s wedding rehearsal? Or a polo match? I’ve never been to a polo match but I could totally see Katharine wearing some shmancy hat, sipping on beverages with umbrellas and stomping on divots. At least I can envision it if it’s similar to the polo match in Pretty Woman. If this is a two piece, I wish it was just a midriff baring top than without it being a peekaboo sort of thing. If you’re gonna show your stuff.. show it. Don’t be a tease. Kind of annoying. Ms. McPhee looks beautiful though. No doubt about that.
Kaley Cuoco
Again, this looks more like a bathing suit cover up or an outfit to wear at a picnic rather than the People’s Choice Award. Also, I can’t stand it when peeps cock their head up like that for photos. Wouldn’t hurt to smile a little bit too hun.
Anna Faris
**cue mariachi band!** Clap clap! What is this??? And why are you wearing it? You’re the host! You should have taken a tip from your co-host Allison Janney! So much to learn! At least you can cuddle up to Chris Pratt at night while you cry over your fashion failures. Olé!
Distracting Floral Designs
Karina Smirnoff
This would look on a piece of furniture timelocked back to the 1970s. You’re still one of my favorite dancers on DWTS. Here’s my favorite dances you choreagraphed of all time:
Linda Edlestein
Have ya’ll watched The West Wing? Linda played the hooker that had a one night stand with Rob Lowe on the very first episode. It took me a second to realize where I recognized her. Anyhoo. You know how when you itch your eye and you push too hard and you kinda start to see something similar to snow on a tv screen and it kind of makes you feel lightheaded? Yeah, that’s what this dress is.
Jillian Rose Reed
I applaud you for being formal—something most of the younger attendees have been lacking. However, this looks like a blanket of gum wrappers folded together in the middle of the night while tripping on LSD. You have a beautiful figure—I would kill for your figure. Lets do some serious rethinking about your next award show attire. Alright?
Camilla Luddington
You portrayed one of the most amazingly perfect fashion icons of the modern age and you chose to wore this? This actually would have been such a pretty dress. However, don’t do two different distracting designs. Do one of the other and pray it works because wrapping tar around this dress isn’t going to make it better.
#MeekAndMild
Amy Adams
Very rarely can this kid screw up. She’s got her system and style down. While I’m not crazy about this frock, the color and neckline are gorgeous.
Ginnifer Goodwin
I don’t get it. Are you going out for a part as an experimenting nun who sews moo-moos or for a part in one of Tyler Perry’s Madea movies? So not a pretty dress and I miss your long hair.
By the way, Tyler Perry just messaged me. He wants me to tell you that “you got the part!”
Kimberly Perry
Love. This. Color. Not a bad attempt. Your hair could use some work and maybe some Pantene Pro-V love. Overall, good job.
#PantSuitsAreAllTheRage
Ellen Pompeo
I have to admit, I love this color. I really do think it looks great on the red carpet. Plus the endless amounts of shimmer you can put on your skin is really your best accessory for this color gown in my book.
Ellen Degeneres
This is supposed to be a part of her new clothing collection. Nice! I am not crazy about white though. But I dig it.
Iggy Azalea
Meh. Ok, so you are a chick who raps. I’m digging your hair but I hate the midriff. Just a little longer and it would be a nice looking pant suit motif and even a little fancy.
Get it, get it?
I couldn’t resist.
Melissa McCarthy
Hotness. I love this outfit. This is the rare exception that I will accept such a casual outfit at the awards show. I think this is perfect. It’s tailored just right, her makeup is flawless. Her clutch goes perfectly and her shows are great. Well done! And congrats on your win!
Monica Potter
In my humble, uninformed opinion, this would be suited better for a first date or a work dinner. Either way, it doesn’t really go with the red carpet at an awards show.
Bella Thorne
This is actually an AWESOME pants suit. I just don’t want it on the red carpet.
Portia de Rossi
Smokin. She’s an exception only because she looks so freakin’ hot in it. Bravo!
#AndThenThere’sMayim
Mayim Bialik
Oh Mayim, you’re never boring. That’s for sure. You know, your dresses are kinda like the Eeyores of award shows. That’s why you get your own section in my Fashion Reviews right here at MadTimeMama.com. So.. I guess congrats?
#ValidAttempt
Gina Rodriguez
Meh. It’s alright and a valid attempt. But it looks like a late 90’s bride’s maid’s dress. You know? Like the kind that you were relieved to wear out of all the horrible choices the bride picked out but would never ever wear again under any circumstances. Yea, that’s this dress.
Molly Tarlov
Love the color. Hate the dress style. Like the hair. Hate the shoe color. Love the lips. Hate the smoky eye makeup. How’s that for trying to even the comments out? Just not a fan of the Grecian style dresses but bravo for trying.
Sarah Hyland
If this dress was just like the top all the way down to the floor, she would have landed on my best dressed. Alas, she chose to do that sheer see through crap. Ain’t nobody’s legs look good in that. Except maybe Kim Kardashian. But she pretty much inspired the movement and then broke the internet. Buh-dum-bum!
Here we go…. Best Dressed for the People’s Choice Award 2015!
9. Gabrielle Union
Really really boring dress. BUT, out of the bunch I had to go through, you do look awfully nice in purple! Love the necklace too.
8. Kristen Bell
I admire you so much. Less than a month ago you gave birth for the second time and here you are looking absolutely radiant on the red carpet. You go Mama! I ❤ you. And I want to be your best friend. Seriously, can we? Cuz I know we would hit it off if you would give a chance. No? ok.. I’ll back off.
7. Bellamy Young
Can I just say that you make a beautiful fake First Lady? Next to Stockard Channing, you are one of my most favorite fake First Ladies of all time. Here is an instance where I don’t mind the sheer crap as much. It actually looks tasteful. I can’t see the sleeves very well but I am not sure how I feel about that shoulder fabric action. In any case, love the shoes, love the make up, love the clutch. Love you.
6. Greer Grammar
Absolutely LOVELY! This is how you dress people. Elegant, poised. Hair is lovely and sophisticated. Isn’t this Kelsey and Camille Grammar’s girl? I think she is going to be Ms. Golden Globes! I can’t wait to see what she wears!
5. Giuliana Rancic
How old school! She looks straight up out of the 1950s with this dress. How lovely is the color and the design? I’m into her hair – I like dark haired Giuliana. However, she definitely would be given two thumbs up by Ms. Joan up above.
4. Stana Katic
You have come so far from playing a Russian hooker on Law and Order: SVU. I think there is an unspoken rule that all actors must do a guest starring stint on that show to get their start. I love this dress. It’s fun and it’s interesting. I don’t like the fuzzy hair though. Nice choice. You look beautiful!
3. Viola Davis
Holy crap this woman knows exactly what looks good on her. This color is GORGEOUS. Absolutely stunning. This is it ya’ll. That’s the stuff right there. Take note people. I expect to see this kind of sophistication at the Golden Globes.
2. Cote de Pablo
A rare appearance by Ms. de Pablo, but definitely one of my most favorites of the night! Isn’t she stunning? Now, I’m going to ignore the sheer crap on the side, but I will say…. I adore this gown. I love the shoulders too. Those lace capped shoulders are fantastic! Love the hair, love the make up. I love you Cote! Boy do I miss you on NCIS. I hope you make a comeback… at least towards the end of the series should there ever be one. Muah!
1. Allison Janney
This is how it’s done. She is a star. She LOOKS like a star. Perfection in a dress is what she is. I love this woman. She is one of my favorites of all time. I love this dress. As one of the hosts for the evening, it’s only fitting that she get the top spot! Bravo!
In Memoriam
I would like to send a shout out to Melissa Rivers and her son. Your mom was a one of kind and definitely one of my favorites. Keep your chin up! Her legacy lives on! RIP Joan Rivers.
This was fun…. Next up…..The Golden Globes! Stay tuned!!!
Mad Time Mama! 