Mad Time Mama!

Well well well… We are in full swing for the 2014 Award Season.  I ❤ Tina Fey and Amy Poehler!

Loved the opening monologue.  If you missed it, play it below!

Alright.. fashion fashion fashion!!  It was a night full of beautiful preggo ladies, metallic fabrics, wildly-out-of-control bows, fashion risks that came, saw, and failed…. and won. Lets hop to it.

**copyright claim** all photos are courtesy of just about every single entertainment website on the internet.

Where shall we start?  Hmm.  We will start on a positive note.

Preggo beauties

I have a soft spot for anyone who is pregnant and on the public stage.  It’s hard enough creating life 24/7 much less have to wear something in public that makes you feel and look beautiful.  These ladies succeeded in every way. 

Drew Barrymore.

She looks absolutely lovely. Pregnancy looks good on her.

Kerry Washington

My favorite part of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s opening was when they addressed Kerry being pregnant and looked into the camera to say “Scandal!” So funny.

Olivia Wilde

Pregnancy hotness.  She looks fab.

 

A for Sincerity and Mad Respect for these ladies

I am blinded by love for these ladies, I could care less what they wear. I ❤ them.

Helen Mirren

Ever since Excalibur, I have absolutely adored this lady.  Such a beauty, inside and out.

Jessica Lange

It’s no secret that I long to be Jessica’s best friend.  My husband loves her, I love her. She just keeps getting better.

Lily Rabe

I. Love. Her.  She is one of the most interesting actresses I have seen in a long time. I cannot wait to see what other projects she takes on. Creepy Nicks forever!

Most Improved

THANK GOD.

Julianna Margulies

Beautiful. Almost a best dressed, but not there yet.  HOWEVER, so much better than the curtain pocket fiasco from the 2012 Emmys …

Lena Dunham

Well done. Well done. Well done! You keep getting better and better! This dress is fun.  The color is cheerful and you look so happy.  So cute.  So proud. It’s very classic and old Hollywood-ish.

 

Julie Bowen

Meh. I don’t love it. but.. meh.  It’s an improvement from what you wore LAST TIME!

Mayim Bialik

SUCH a huge improvement from THIS and THIS!  I’m not a fan of the long sleeves BUT considering that’s all you ever wear, I will say this is my favorite out of the recent gowns you have worn to awards shows. Your make up looks fantastic– so fresh and natural.  VERY nice.

Actually, just an afterthought.  Though it is an improvement, I just want to say, I hate sheer crap.

Heidi Klum

Finally!!!!  To be honest every time you walk down the Red Carpet I almost cringe. This time though, you were spot on in your gown decision.  No weird neck collars, no high slits to show Seal what he’s missing and no deep cleavage to show those fun bags of yours.

Emma Watson

Uh, I don’t even know what to say. I wish she could just wear what Hermione wore in the movies. I thinks he also took a cue from Whoopi on what to wear at awards show.

Blah.  So very blah.

Amy Adams

Meh, it’s not a horrible dress.  However, I’m not a fan of the deep dramatic J-LO circa 2000 cleavage style.  I love your hair and make up though.  Congrats on accepting your golden globe on the 15 anniversary of your move to LA!  You’re one of my favorite actresses, just not one of my favorite gowns tonight. I love you still though.

Alison Williams

At least it’s not a bridesmaid dress like the last time.

Monica Potter

Love the hair.  Hate the dress. Looks like my great grandma’s gold and black curtains.

Caitlin Fitzgerald

The Stepford Wive’s award goes to you! Interesting fabric though.

Taylor Schilling

Love the color.  Love the hair.  Love the make up.  Love YOU. Love your show.   HATE the dress.  Also, you should consider hemming the front.

Julia Roberts

It’s not a bad dress.  I was just looking for more.  I’m bored.  It also looks like a random shirt tucked into a strapless dress.  Meh. Doesn’t work for me.

Kristin Chenowith

Yuck.  Don’t like the color. Don’t like the sleeves. Super boring.  The front of the dress reminds me of Hilary Swanks dress from the 2005 Oscars.

METALLICS, SEQUINS and SHINY SHINY THINGS!

Camilla Alves

I love sequins and everything that is shiny.  However, I hate long sleeves.  I don’t like the cut of the dress on the top half. It looks awkward.  Which is really weird because she is a beautiful lady and I would think it would be hard to find anything that would look awkward on her.  BUT there ya go.   Congrats to Matthew for his Golden Globe win and his Oscar nomination!

Dianne Wiest

You are such a lady and I ❤ you. Beautiful choice.  I love the detail, I love the neckline.  Love it.  One of my favorites of the night.

Elizabeth Moss

This is actually a fun little number. I don’t like your hair, but your make up and your shoes go perfectly with your gown.  Nice job.

PS.  Don’t think I didn’t notice the sheer part on the bottom of the skirt.  Get rid of that and you would have made my best dressed.  Just sayin.

Robin Wright

I totally saw your sideboob during your acceptance speech. Congrats on your win and congrats on your engagement to Ben Foster! Hotness!

Mila Kunis

You don’t look very happy.  In fact, you look annoyed. I like the flow of the skirt and the color.   However, that bow thing is a little much.

Uma Thurman

I found this dress to be very interesting.  I love the halter top and accenting your awesome arms. I’m not sure if i like the train or not.  Either way you look like a perfect statuesque lady which makes me completely jealous of you.

Gabourey Sidibe

Rock on lady.  Rock on.  You are one of my favorites of the night. AND one of my favorites on Coven.

Sarah Paulson

You always look like you are a little girl who secretly wants a lollipop but does not  have enough courage to ask.  Is it true? If so, you can have one. You’re brilliant.

Bows, WHOAS and OH NOS!

I hate bows. I hate random parts cut out of dresses. I also hate long sleeves.  I hate short dresses at awards shows.  I also hate busy prints that makes me dizzy.

Amy Poehler

Uh… it was a great dress up until that random hole in your dress.  Stupid decision on the designer’s part.

Edie Falco

I hate the color and I hate the freakin’ bow.  She looks like a Christmas present. Is it just me or does the material in the front tailored wonky?

Emma Thompson

Love you. Hate the sleeves.

Greta Gerwig

This reminds me of the horrible dress Zooey Deschanel wore previously to the 2012 Emmy Awards.

Jacqueline Bisset

Congrats on winning… however, not feeling your dress. It looks like a choice from 1989.

Lizzy Caplan

Long sleeves and random cut outs.  Nope.

Megan Mullaly

Actually this dress is kinda fun.  But unless you are Anne Shirley or timewarped from the 1980s, don’t wear puff sleeves or floaties. Also i miss your dark hair.

Paula Patton

WTF. WTF.  I don’t get it. I really don’t. Ugliest dress I have EVER seen in my whole entire life and that includes all the horrible prom dresses I saw at my prom in 1997.

Taissa Farmiga

I really like you.  Such a pretty girl and a fantastic talent. Choose something longer and a different color. Kinda washed out in my opinion.

Tina Fey

How quickly they fall. You were on my best dressed last year. This year, not so much. It’s cute but the print is annoying.

Zoe Saldana

OH NO.  Just NO.  Busy print, sheer crap.  Count me out she says.

And … here we are.  The best dressed of the night.

15. Cate Blanchett

What a lovely, classic dress.  I absolutely love the detail, length and neckline of this gown. Perfection.

14. Julia Louis-Dreyfuss

So awesomely cool.  Fits like a glove and looks fabulous. I usually hate coral.. but it works here.

13. Sosie Bacon.  MS. GOLDEN GLOBE.

How gorgeous is she? What a beautiful dress and especially the color!  The detail is great. Love her makeup and her hair.

12. Kaley Cuoco

It’s no secret that I hate prints.  However, I love the way this dress looks like a painting. Perfect length and neckline.   Congrats on your recent nuptials!

11. Maria Menounos

Ms. Menounos is a constant fixture on my best dressed.  I love the pink, I love the design, I love the shoulder caps and neckline and I love the hem and train.  Love it all.

10. Laura Dern

WOOOOO!  Lady you are a sexy minx.  How could Ben Harper ever let you go? Well done.  And congrats to your Pop!  He’ll always be my favorite neighbor in The ‘Burbs!

9. Nancy O’Dell

This is another dame who is on my Best Dressed a lot.  She knows what looks good on her and she uses that knowledge to wear something fierce. What a gorgeous color for her!  I love the detail on the neck. The fabric is beautiful. What does it say that a Entertainment Reporter dresses better than most of the stars that she interviews?

8. Michelle Dockery

Way to go Ms. Dockery! Absolutely adore this gown.  So fancy and elegant.  The color melts so wonderfully against the color of your skin too.  Bravo!

PS.  I still hate your show. Boring!

7. Kate Beckinsale

You look like the most beautiful silver mermaid!  I think you’re so beautiful.  I need another Underworld movie! Get back to it!

6. Reese Witherspoon

YES YES YES.  Love the dress. Love the color. Love the nails.  Love the hair.  Love YOU.

5. Sandra Bullock

Fun. Flirty. And so GIRLY. ❤

4. Jenna Dewan-Tatum

Look at this dress.  She reminds me of Elizabeth Hurley.  I know Jenna is an actress (She was the chick who got to make out with Adam Levine at the beginning of the second season of American Horror Story). However, she was made on the red carpet while on the arm of her man, Channing.  She keeps dressing and impressing!

3. Emma Roberts

Sweet Emma is making a name for herself. She is most definitely not just “Julia Roberts’ niece” anymore.  What a fine choice for the Golden Globes. Keep it up!  (it’s too bad Julia didn’t follow her lead)

2. Sofia Vergara

I don’t normally put her on my lists because.. well, she annoys me and I think she is overly saturated in the industry.  However, I cannot ignore how glorious this gown is.  What a dress! What a necklace!

Who’s my #1 Best Dressed???

Lupita Nyong’o

How amazing and REGAL! LOVE the neckline and the cape/train.  OMG.  I am in love with this dress. What a queen!  Congrats on your nomination!

That’s it!  Stay tuned for the SAG awards! …. hopefully I’ll get it done a little sooner!  ❤

Tags: 2013 golden globes, adele, alyssa milano, angelica huston, anne hathaway, denzel washington, emily blunt, eva longoria, franscesca eastwood, Golden Globes, halle berry, helen mirren, jodie foster, julianne hough, Julie Bowen, katherine mcphee, Kelly Osbourne, Kerry Washington, lucy liu, michael j fox, naomi watts, nene leakes, sam fox, tina fey, tracy pollan, Zooey Deschanel

OK, I have to do this quickly before one of the babies wakes up– trust me, that’s no easy task.  If I’m not slinging poop, I’m working on my 712th arrangement of Itsy Bitsy Spider in operatic form. I should try to put that out as a single on I-Tunes.. it would be a hit, I’m sure.  That and “I’m a pretty pony… clippity clop clippity clop.” **sigh**
I was going to do the People’s Choice Awards and the Golden Globes.. but lets get real folks.  Who cares about the Peoples Choice….. and second, I don’t have time.  However, Golden Globes…. here we go.  Overall, better on the fashion ya’ll from the Emmys.  Holy cow … lots better.  Not the best, but WAY better effort ya’ll.  I will say after reviewing the fashion this year with a trusty pal, sweetheart necklines and dark goth lipstick must be all the rage this year.  Everyone seems to be wearing these two things.  Again, here is my unsolicited opinion on the 2013 Golden Globes …. hee hee. If Lady Gaga is reading this, know I am not spreading hate… I’m spreading awareness.  Hee hee heee!!!! (I ❤ you!)

**copyright claim** all photos are courtesy of just about every single entertainment website on the internet.
Where shall we start?  Hmm.  We will start on a positive note.

All in the Family

Lets begin with a family that came together to the awards show because their son was Mr. Golden Globe.  The Fox family.  I adore  this family.  It’s a rarity when two people stayed married in Hollywood.  These two have been married forever and are so graceful and have been for a long time.  Love them.  Their son Sam was Mr. Golden Globe this year.  I love the hot pink color of Tracy Pollan’s dress.  I also think she pretty much looks perfect.  The fellas look great too.  Who doesn’t like Michael J. Fox?  And his son is pretty much his twin.  Well done!

The Washingtons — Denzel and his daughter Olivia

Denzel and his daughter look super sweet.  I think she is beautiful– and though I hate prints on dresses, this works for her.  I also like the neckline.  Very tasteful and classy.  I also think her ruffles diagonally up the side are a nice touch. Denzel looks like handsome all the time.  Can’t really argue that.

 

A for Sincerity

Helena Bonham Carter

This woman really can do no wrong.. why?  Because she is Helena Bonham Carter.  We expect interesting fashion from this gal.  Her hair is always  a frazzled mess almost to match Tim Burton’s aura.  Though I don’t like her dresses typically and she looks like a hot mess,  she stays pretty true to her personality and I can appreciate that.  Plus, she’s pretty much one of the best actresses around.  I love her.

Most Improved

Julianna Margulies

Thank goodness you didn’t wear a big pocketed dress that resembles my grandmother’s unwanted curtains. Seriously, this looks very nice on you Julianna.  It’s not my favorite, BUT, you look beautiful and I love the color on you.  The dress itself is very busy with the intricate details of the beads and neckline … however it’s almost too much for my taste.  I like your hair, but I wish you would wear it down. You have gorgeous hair lady— put some loose curls in it and part it down the side. Aren’t you a spokesperson for a hair product?  Work it lady. Overall, good job.

Lena Dunham

Lady, I was so proud of you when I saw you on the red carpet.  Seriously, SUCH an improvement from the sad pony wearing a doily look at the Emmys.  I am not crazy about the neckline, BUT I think this is a gorgeous dress for you.  You look beautiful.  I love the chocolate color and the fabric of the dress.  Well done.  Congrats on your Golden Globe victories lady!  DId ya’ll hear her acceptance speeches?  Totally adorable and so humble.  I look forward to catching your show sometime.

Fall from Grace

Julie Bowen

What HAPPENED! WHAT is this “half grecian toga” crap that you are wearing?  The color is.. meh, alright I guess.  But the cut .. form.. EVERYTHING about this dress is… blagh.    This just goes to show how you can go to Best Dressed to Worst Dressed in no time.  It looks as though you were running late and grabbed the nearest fabric to cover yourself after a shower.  I expect better Julie.

Kelly Osbourne

Ok, I admit, her dress isn’t awful.  In fact, it’s quite lovely.  However, I really don’t like the look as a whole.  I’m over the purple hair and I’m not into her pink lips against the dress and the purple hair.  It’s distracting to me.  I must say I do like the mermaid style of the dress and the color.  The lipstick would be fine against a neutral hair color, but with the purple, it just makes it look like a washed out 80s antic.   I fear someone is going to be putting you on the worst dressed list on your own show Kelly!  We expect better!  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo I still love you.

Mediocre at Best

I was going to have a “worst catagory,” however, I think what’s worse is the fact that these actresses and their dress give the impression that they just didn’t care.  To me, these dresses are pretty blah and nothing really that great about them.

Kerry Washington

STILL not impressed with you.  You look SO good on your show and everything from your dress to your hair here are a disappointment.  Like I said before.. I hate the kind of dresses that are half see through on the bottom.  It’s kinda trashy in my opinion.  I do like the color on you, but all of the lines are wrong on this dress and makes it dull.  There are details in the most unfortunate places distracting the eyes from your beautiful face!  …… please impress me at the Oscars. I’m pulling for you!

Alyssa Milano

WTF are you wearing?? Didn’t we have this discussion when Claire Danes wore a similarly hideous dress to the Emmys?  It makes your boobs look unflatteringly saggy (this cut always does that).  I also don’t like the citrus color with this style of dress.. but I do like the color.. does that makes sense?  Maybe I’m too picky. I DO like the earrings and the clutch though.  Very tasteful.  And your makeup and hair are perfection, as always. As a tidbit, I love knowing they drew Ariel in your image.  So pretty.

Emily Blunt

Bah.  Triangle cut-outs, seriously Emily?  You of all people should know that’s not a flattering look…….. Sheryl Crow did that a couple of years ago and it wasn’t cool then either.  Lets not repeat history.  You’re better than that.  This dress would have been a home run withOUT the cut outs. Sheesh. People try too hard.

Katherine McPhee

The dresses just get worse and worse.  Just say NO!!!! All sorts of bad with this dress.

Halle Berry

Fail.  Doing the Jolie leg stand is a little unnecessary and SO last year.  I HATE PRINTS and HIGH SLITS.

Eva Longoria

I can’t even justify this dress.

Zooey Deschanel

Is it just me?  Second verse, same as the first.  It’s like she picks the same dress in a different fabric and color every time.  Strapless with a curved bodice. Blah blah blah.  I’m bad about wearing the same thing over and over again.  But I’m just a stay at home mama with a loud mouth.  If I had lots of moo-la, I would try different things in the fashion world … but then again, I’d probably end up on a worst list on some lame blog written by a nobody like this one!  But hey, Zooey!  You have nothing to lose… nowhere to go on this blog but up honey!  Will love to see how you do at the other awards shows.  ❤

PS.  You forgot to get your dress steamed.

WTF WTF WTF WTF

Seriously.. what is up with these dresses???????

Anjelica Huston

What is going on buddy? I don’t even know where to begin or what to say.   I love you — I especially love your nephew as Richard Harrow in Boardwalk Empire.. but that’s another post for some other time.  You are such a lady .. a classy, BEAUTIFUL lady.  C’mon!  You’re an old school BAD ASS.  You can do better!

Julianne Hough

I’m done with you.

Lucy Liu

luc

Ew. Ew. Ew.

Nene Leakes

Eesh.  The only person who can pull this off is Meryl Streep and even then I didn’t like it that much.  But, you don’t tell someone like Meryl what to do.  She’s Meryl Streep.  She can wear a bathing suit to the Oscars and make it a trend and it would be ok.

By the way… does anyone know why on Earth Nene would even be invited to the Golden Globes??? Pffffft!

And … here we are.  The best dressed of the night.

Adele

You are perfection.  From hair, makeup, and the dress… it’s a beautiful look.  I love the neckline and the shape of the dress.  So gorgeous… You JUST gave birth not too long ago.  You look smashing!

Tina Fey

You are so cool and deliciously well put together.  You ooze fashion perfection with this one. I love it.  Compliments every part of your body and your hair is gorgeous.

Francesca Eastwood.  MS. GOLDEN GLOBE.

Perfect for the daughter of a Hollywood legend. You are echoing 1940s screen sirens. I love it. The capped sleeves and detail of the train are gorgeous.   I wish that some of our other fashion victims had chosen as wisely as you.  I look forward to seeing you as you grow up.

Anne Hathaway

Stunning.  I love this look especially with her short hair.  It makes up for the fact that I’m not a fan of her voice– or her version of Dreamed a Dream.  Butchers it in my opinion.  Alas, this is about her dress and not her performance.  I love the color and the straight neckline.  The fabric of the dress is GORGEOUS.  Way to go Anne and congrats on your Golden Globe!

Helen Mirren

I. Love. This. Woman.  She is absolutely stunning.  All these youngsters need to start looking up to people like Helen.  She can do no wrong.

Who’s my #1 Best Dressed???

Naomi Watts

Take note ya’ll. This is how you do it folks.  Stunning.  Absolutely stunning.  I adore the train on this dress — and the gorgeous color!!  This accentuates everything perfectly on her body.  I cannot wait to see what we get from you the rest of the award season!

A special message to Jodie Foster:  AMAZING speech the other night.  You’re awesome, your message was awesome and you are a beautiful soul.  I hope you keep making movies because I’d miss you.

Tags: 2013 golden globes, adele, alyssa milano, angelica huston, anne hathaway, denzel washington, emily blunt, eva longoria, franscesca eastwood, Golden Globes, halle berry, helen mirren, jodie foster, julianne hough, Julie Bowen, katherine mcphee, Kelly Osbourne, Kerry Washington, lucy liu, michael j fox, naomi watts, nene leakes, sam fox, tina fey, tracy pollan, Zooey Deschanel