Dear Ohio D.O.T:
Ohio is now the fifth state I have lived in. It has also been the hardest place to transition to and the most unwelcoming place I have moved to.
It is SERIOUSLY a joke regarding all the running around you have to do just to get your license and vehicle title switched over. I would like to take a moment and say “Thank you” to my former states: Tennessee, Montana, Texas, and even you Washington! You guys are FAR superior to the customer service, attitude and your reasonable processes for nomads like my family. I would gladly stand in line ANY DAY and ALL DAY at the Clearwater office in Kennewick just to NEVER speak to anyone in the Ohio Department of Transportation (DOT) ever again.– who, by the way, are some of the dumbest people I have ever encountered. I actually feel dumber after talking with them.
Here is a sample of some of my responses/conversations I had with the really stupid people at the DOT office:
1) “YES. My name is A-L-L-Y-E … not ALLISON.”
2) “Seriously, no joke, my name is A-L-L-Y-E. It’s on my birth certificate.. SEE?”
3) “I was born in 1979, not 1976 as you put on my previous Ohio license– which is why I had to come back down to the office and stand in line (again) FOREVER. I need a new one. Yes, really. Yes, it’s on my birth certificate… SEE?”
4) Allye says “.. um, the reason my marriage certificate has my maiden name is because I wasn’t MARRIED yet. SURELY I am NOT the first person to come in here like this.” Weirdo Ohio DOT lady says “well, see, your birth certificate has your maiden name and so does your marriage certificate … we’re gonna have to use your maiden name on your DL.” Allye says “That’s not my legal name. My SSN card has my married name on it as well as my previous DL. Doesn’t that count for something?” Weirdo Ohio DOT lady “um.. er…. I really have to talk to my manager. I can’t make this decision. It’s just doesn’t add up.” Allye thinks, “I hate you.”
5) “You are seriously going to falsify my Driver’s License and put my Maiden name? Am I really the first person that has come in here with ALL of her documentation and who uses her maiden name as her middle name? You people are truly UH-Mazing.”
6) Allye wins. Corrected birthday. Right name. No legal falsification on her DL.
What I would really like for you to take away from this open letter is that Ohio, you really REALLY suck. Your customer service sucks even worse. And the people that work in your DOT offices are the biggest suckbaggiest crapbags of them all. I hope I never EVER have to come in contact with any of you ever again.
Sincerely,
Allye
Mad Time Mama! 
Ha! I’ve been lookin at your blog today and I just had to comment on this… my marriage certificate ALSO lists mine and James’ name as they were originally on our B.C. My last name on the marriage cert is my maiden last name, but it shows that I was legally married to James Freeman, and therefore… took HIS last name.
This crap they gave you is unbelieveable! It is literally like they have never seen a marriage certificate before. That lady had to have been new… Well, glad you won in the end.
Seriously! I was completely AMAZED how ignorant some of these people were. UGH. Thanks for the moral support. hee hee 🙂