2015 Grammy Awards Naptime Fashion Review!

Grammy’s 2015 Fashion Review

I have a special treat for all of you. This past week, my Dad was going to have a hip replacement. So we had a lot of time on our hands to wait at the hospital. So I decided I was going to have some “guest” commentators on my fashion review from two of the most opinionated women on the plant. My mother and sister. Originally with this concept, I was planning for all three of us to comment on the dresses as I showed them. However, it became apparent that my comments were not needed and were just fluff or filler compared to theirs.  The Grammy’s have really gone downhill since the days of J-Lo’s “the dress” days.

Additionally, my mom has a very distinct way of saying “Ew” when she doesn’t like something…. It’s time to share that sound with the internet. Therefore, to enhance your experience and to get the full effect of her distaste, click here and press play.

I’m very pleased to present to you VERBATIM the comments that were said.

M=Mom

T= Tobe

A= Allye

**copyright claim** all photos are courtesy of just about every single entertainment website on the internet.

Here we go…. In alphabetical order:

Anna Kendrick

M: Plain jane but daring as a tux without a shirt. I like it but I don’t think I’d wear it. (and she totally wouldn’t). I think she needs a shirt under it because she has no boobs.
T: I like her hair. Too many rings. Pointy shoes are tasteful.

A: I like it as is.

Annie Lennox

M: Very classy dress. I’d wear it.

T: It’s beautiful. But needs a little bedazzlement. She needs more color because she is washed out.

A: Needs nothing. She’s perfect just as she is. Go Annie!

Ariana Grande

M: It’s….. different. There’s those old pointy shoes again. They are just plain ugly. And they look uncomfortable. I don’t particularly like that dress. Do you like it Tobe?

T: It looks good on her. She’s got the bedazzlement.

A: She sucks.

Ashanti

M: She looks like a tacky person. It’s not even attractive. Why in the world would she wear this out in public? UGH.

T: No.

A: I don’t like the cutout neckline crap. I agree with Mama. Tacky broad. Tacky boobs.

Beyonce:

M: Why do they have to show their front end? IT doesn’t do anything for me. Lets put it this way, I’m glad I don’t have to wear it.

T: I wish I had a body so I could show off the dress like she can. I don’t care for the hair though.

A: I like it except for the see through crap. It almost looks like a weird fishing net used as a dress from the movie “The Cell.”

Bonnie McKee

T: I like the color. The sideview is tasteful and covers everything.

M: It is tasteful. …. It covers everything that we know of.

A: Meh. If I had her body I’d wear it regardless if it covered everything.   Nicely done. It’s no wonder you made my list again. You were number one a couple of years ago if I remember correctly.

Brandy Clark

T: It’s got glitter and she’s not showing anything. Her hair is nicely done. She’s got a tasteful dress covering all aspects. But hey, it’s got glitter.

M: It is tasteful- covering everything but the arms.

A: Geez. What do you want them to wear? A judge’s robe? Pretty dress. Not for me though. By the way, who is this chick?

Charli XCX

M: Who in the world is that? I don’t know any of these people?

T: Yuck. But the shoes are pink I like them.

A: No way. Crap.

Chrissy Tiegen

T: I take it she is not wearing underwear.

M: I take it she isn’t.

A: I think Chrissy is overrated.

Ciara

M: It’s feathery looking. Does she have a creature on her shoulder? Is that a raccoon? Ostrich?

T: it’s layers of tulle I think. It’s just the sheen from the fabric mom.

M: Oh. I thought it was a creature.

A: Vomit Sauce.

Courtney Reed

M: Oo what’s that? Well, it’s ok.

T: I like the color of her lipstick.

M: it’s not very pretty but it’s ok. That’s all I have to say about that.

A: CRAP. See through CRAP. I hate SEE THROUGH CRAP.

Gina Rodriguez

T: That is not attractive.

M: It looks like a towel with trim.

T: Yea a dishtowel with a really tacky teal color.

M: yea I hate teal.

T: We’re so abrasive aren’t we?

A: Yes. You are.

Giuliana Rancic

T: She’s tough cuz she beat breast cancer. I don’t like the outfit.

M: It’s ok.

A: Eat something.

Gwen Stefani

M: She looks like she is wearing a hat on her dress. Doesn’t it look like a hat? Oh it’s not a dress, it’s pants.

T: I’m reminded of the clown outfits of the 90s.

A: I’m not a fan of pants at awards shows.

Gweneth Paltrow

M: I don’t like her shoes. It would have looked better long.

T: Ditto.

A: Meh, it’s alright. Too short. Act your age.

Iggy Azalea

M: No.

T: I can’t say I like anything about about this dress.

Jane Fonda

M: OH GOD. The green hornet. Doesn’t she look horrible!!?!?!?

T: Uh, yea. I got nothing.

M: That is Hideous. (then again under her breath… hideous)

Jennifer Hudson

M: Awe! That’s nice.

T: Beautiful.

Jenny Lewis

M: Rainbow kid!

T: Nice Boots!

Jessie J

M: I think it’s pretty if it wasn’t sheer. I don’t want to see nudeness underneath.

Joy Villa  — WHO IS THIS CHICK?? 

M: Well. That is just disgusting. That is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen. Oh my! She is showing everything!

T: Did she get caught up at the construction site?

M: What possessed her to wear that?

T: Did she call Lady Gaga for tips?

M: That is just gross. Ugggggghh.

M: That isn’t even pretty.

T: Is she wearing pasties?

A: I don’t even know who this is.

Kat Graham

M: Now this is sort of attractive. Even if she looks like a peacock.

T: I wouldn’t have worn white shoes with this. I would have worn black or nude.

Katherine McPhee

M: Now that’s pretty. I like it. It’s not so gawdy that it’s offensive to look at. If it doesn’t show her crack, it’s ok.

T: Is that Electrical tape across her boobs? I do like the color though. Delicate.

Katy Perry

M: That’s sort of gross looking. NO. Don’t you think it’s gross looking? YOU can see everything she’s got. Twat, boobs. She’s got a nice body.

T: I don’t like that you can see her bra.

M: Well she’s not wearing a bra. She’s not even wearing panties. She’s naked as a J-Bird under there.

Kelly Osbourne

T: I’m just saying right now. Ick! Is this what outer space looks like?

M: It’s ok. It doesn’t appeal to me.

Keltie Knight

M: It looks like a suit of armour.

T: It looks like mercury. If she meets up with Thor I’ll gladly take her place.

Kim Kardashian

M: Is she wearing a house coat? A house coat with shoulder pads.

T: J-Lo can definitely fit into her dress better than Kimmie.

Lady Gaga

M: eewww. Those boobs look peculiar.

T: I like her hair and her shoes. That’s about it.

M: I don’t like her boobs.  She’s not very sexy.

T: She’s not doing the “Angelina leg” properly.

Madonna

M: I think that’s ugly. And it’s definitely an ugly corset.

T: I like the corset but absolutely nothing else about her outfit. She looks like she walked off the Wild Wild West movie with Will Smith.

A:   One of my favorite peeps said about Madonna, “You know?  I used to love to see Madonna take her clothes off. Now I just want to get a sandwich.”  Well said, sir.

 

Mary J. Blige

M: That’s pretty. Real pretty. Especially compared to a lot of the other dresses.

T: Complimentary.

Meghan Trainor

M: Oh. NO. Do you think that’s pretty? I don’t think it’s pretty at all. Is that the front side? That looks like her butt crack right there. It looks like her head has been turned around backwards.

T: Sheer see through crap is gross. I agree with my beautiful, fantastic, perfect little sister. She is the most wonderful human being on this planet. Amen.

Melissa Rivers

M: It’s not bad but I don’t like those wide bottom pants. I have never liked bell bottoms and I think they SUCK.   She looks like a sailor.

T: I love Joan therefore I know she chose this and with love from her Mama.

A: I agree with my beautiful, perfect OLDER sister.

T: Butthead.

Miley Cyrus

M: She looks anorexic and I don’t like the dress. If she was going for the sexy look, she missed. It’s a good thing she wasn’t wearing underwear.

A: Mom, I don’t think Miley wears underwear.

M: Who is this?

A: Miley Cyrus.

M: I don’t like her daddy and I don’t like her.

T: I miss the innocent Miley Cyrus.

M: and I don’t know who her mother is.

A: Cuz that matters, mom?

Miranda Lambert

M: I don’t like the splash of color. It would have been a pretty black dress otherwise.

T: Ditto.

Nancy O’Dell

M:  That’s another pantyless dress.

T: I think it’s tasteful. I think the slit is good enough and has nice legs to show off. Not a fan of the hair or the earrings.

M: I don’t like it all. It would have to be completely black and not see through.

T: It isn’t see through.

M: it is too! That’s skin underneath. Her hair sucked too.

T: I have nothing else to say about that.

Nicki Minaj

M: Too much in every department and ugly to boot. Fake boobs. Those are totally fake boobs.

T: Is she wearing anything underneath? I guess that’s the metallic color. It’s ok.

M: Nuh uh. Ugly.

T: Like the bracelets.

 

Paris Hilton

M: At least she is covering up the strategic areas. I don’t particularly care for it.

T: I got nothing.

Pauley Perette

M: I like whatever Pauley wears.

T: Love everything. Except the fact that she is hiding her spider tattoo.

Rhianna

M: Oh no. Explosion. Looks like pepto bismal on steroids.

T: At least she is covered up this time. Ain’t nobody wanna see that business.

Rita Ora

M: It’s pretty. That blonde hair washes her out. Needs something darker but it’s pretty.

T: Reminds me of the original Matrix movie.

Taylor Swift

M: I don’t know why she is wearing pink shoes with that.

A: I think it looks cute.

M: I think it’s alright.

T: I think it doesn’t matter what she wears. I can’t comment negatively on her because I’m a SwiftHead.

Toni Braxton

M: Looks like a wedding dress with boobs.

T: I like what I can see of it.

Zendaya

M: The shoes do not go with that dress

T: I think she is pretty other than the shoes.

M: I’m not a fan of the dress.

——–

So there you have it.  A to Z.  It was nice to pass the time in the hospital with my Sister and Mother commenting on my blog.  If you ever get a chance to watch the Miss America pageant with my mother, do it.  It will be one of the most awesome experiences of your life.  Ew!

Till the next review…….. xoxo!