2019 Golden Globe Awards Fashion Review!

Huzzah! I haven’t done a fashion review in over two years.  It was fun throwing this little ditty together! Before we get started, I should mention:

**copyright claim** all photos are courtesy of just about every single entertainment website on the internet.  Credit is listed directly under *most* photographs.  With that said, I don’t own any of the pictures.

WORST DRESSED

Anne Hathaway

There are two people who can flawlessly pull off leopard print:

• Queen Bey

• Gwennie

Ms. Hathaway, you are not on this list. Thank U, next.

Debra Messing

Ca-cawwww! Ca-cawwwww!

She’s gets my mother’s coveted seal of disapproval. Congrats!

Heidi Klum

 

Can we stop inviting Heidi Klum to all of these award shows?  Why is she even here? She gets worse every time. She adds zero value to the red carpet line up. See evidence:

Janelle Monae

Ms. Monae’s makeup is right on point. She is always a gorgeous lady. She is one of my favorites to watch on the red carpet because she is so darn interesting. However, I just don’t know what this is and what to make of it. It looks like a cross between being inspired by:

• Chain mail from a knight on King Arthur’s court
• While being wrapped in one of Khaleesi’s dragon skins from G.o.T
• And topping off with a golden marshmallow hat inspired by Jackie O.

Help me, please.  WTF.

Jodie Comer

First off, let me say, if you haven’t seen Killing Eve, YOU ARE MISSING OUT.  Watch it. Jodie Comer and Sandra Oh together are a force not to be missed.

It pains me to do this, because I see the mirror imaging you are doing with this dress… with that said….

Bring back the pink!

 

Gaga’d

Lady Gaga is known for her fashion. I get it.  I can appreciate the fashion periwinkle color in her hair.  I think the basic part of the dress is actually pretty despite being quite institutional. What I can’t get on board with is the excessive fabric.  As a dear friend said, “it looks like she brought her bed sheets with her.”   Wanna snuggle? Yes, I absolutely do.

Kennedy List of Disapproval

I’m a performer.  One of my dearest mentors from college, and one of the greatest singers of all time—Dr. Frederick Kennedy, taught me on the first day, that you don’t wear flowers or loud patterns on stage. They are too distracting.  You are also forbidden from wearing anything above the knee because knees are distracting. It was basically his number one rules. I also happen to agree with him.

Lucy Liu

What is with Lucy Liu and all the prints? I mean, experimenting once is understandable. I guess it’s your thing. Definitely not for me.

I miss your metallic evening gowns.

Camilla Belle

I like pretty much everything about this dress except the print.  Why?  It looks like something Elvis would hang in the jungle room at Graceland. Drop it off the next time you are there.

On a side note, have you been to Graceland?  Definitely worth a trip to knock it off the bucket list. I love that place.

WASHOUT AWARDS

Amber Heard

Ms. Heard is obviously beautiful and elegant. However, something about the contrast of the black and white washes her out. Am I imagining this? Also, she has bedhead, no?

Dakota Fanning

 

I can barely look at this dress without my eyes tearing up from blinding pain. I actually really like this dress (besides the hem… what’s with these dresses being hemmed so wonky?) It’s just the wrong color.  She’s completely washed out.  Also, I don’t like the coral lip.  Not a good match. Wouldn’t this dress have been super cute in Nuclear Pink or Nickelodean green?

Julianne Moore

There are so many things going on here texture-wise, I don’t even know where to look. Neither one compliments the other. Most of all, this outfit completely wipes her out.  I’m not feeling it at all.  Her hair looks nice though.

Kate Mara

Rumor has it, that Ms. Mara is preggo with her first kiddo. That’s a big deal, and many congratulations on your upcoming bundle of love!

With that said, fire your stylist. Fire your hair person.  If you need someone, I can hook you up with an awesome couple of gals (Carrie or Cassie! Holla!) here in Rome, GA at Blonde on Broad.  They will lead you down the path of righteous hair styles and colors.  What you have going on right now, ain’t it.

Call me. I’ll hook you up.

Lucy Boynton

Who is this and why is she on my list? Don’t ever wear this dress again in my presence.  Ever.

SOMETHING IS JUST A TAD OFF

Gina Rodriguez

The color of this dress is on point and is lovely contrast with Ms. Rodriguez’s hair. BUT… something is just a tad off….. the deep crevice and large space on the chest really make her chest look saggy, or is it just me? I’m just not into floppy boobs. It’s a tricky style and not easily mastered by someone as young as yourself.  If you need some inspiration hit up Halle Berry. She knows what’s up and how to perk it up in this style.

Emily Blunt

I’m not a huge fan of lace. Honestly it stems back from having to wear lacy dresses to church and sitting through what seemed like the LONGEST sermon about something I didn’t even understand (or being yelled at rather … I grew up a Southern Buzzard Baptist) and my skin itching constantly because of the irritation from the lace dresses I used to have to wear with puffed sleeves.

Ms. Blunt looks lovely in this color and the style.  Something is a tad off…… the bottom half of the dress looks like it came off a rotting corpse. Kinda like Daryl Hannah’s character, Mary, in High Spirits.  See?

It’s uncanny, right?

 

Constance Wu

The skirt and belt of this dress is so flirty and dreamy.  Something is just a tad off….The bodice looks like a nude flavor licorice S&M bra, no?

Elisabeth Moss

GOD. You are SO f’n good in The Handmaid’s Tale. If you all have not seen it, do yourself a favor. Get a HULU subscription and binge all episodes available.  Not gonna lie, the material is sometimes brutal to watch, but my Lord, she is just fabulous.

Is it just me or does Ms. Moss always look like she has a secret to tell? Please tell me. I’m GREAT with secrets.

I’m not a fan of mini-skirts/short dresses at award shows. Knees are distracting, remember? Something is just a tad off with this whole dress… it kinda looks like she randomly ripped off a sections of her dress kinda like what Jamie Lee Curtis did in True Lies.

Kaley Cuoco

Ms. Cuoco has great style and knows what looks good on her. However, something is just a tad off here. First, the hem is all wrong. Second, the material is a wrinkly mess from the car ride.  Quite unfortunate.  Also, no one cares. Too much?

Kristin Cavallari

Isn’t this a gorgeous evening gown? Completely stunning, except something is a tad off.  Two improvements need to be made:  1) The hem needs to actually be hemmed. 2) the sleeves are WAY too long. It would have been cooler if she had one of those angular shaped cuffs with a pull over the middle finger or something?  Alas, no one asked me and I keep wondering why.

Meh.

Amy Adams

This is a very sensible gown … but so very institutional and boring. It looks like one of my old school choir outfits from Tennessee Tech (No offense to Dr. Smith is who is the most amazing choir director of all time and who I will forever love into eternity).  You know, this is a color that isn’t hard on the eyes if it is worn by many and is conservative around shoulders and neckline.  Show just enough skin but never ever anything provocative. If that’s what you are going for, then bravo, Ms. Adams.

Amy Poehler

I love Ms. Poehler. I don’t love this dress for me personally. But she rocks the halter top look flawlessly. However, the dress needs a bit of a hem.  Are y’all catching on to a pattern, here?

Alyssa Milano

Meh. Great color but looks like a wrinkly hot mess.

Caitriona Balfe

GAH! This hurts me to put Ms. Balfe in this category.  She looks super duper adorable from the waist up. I love the hair, her makeup and even the bodice with the flower.  However, the rest of the dress does not do Ms. Balfe’s figure any justice.  She is a stunning woman, and the skirt of this dress is just not for me.

With that said, while I absolutely adore Sandra Oh and Killing Eve and pretty much every person nominated this year (Elizabeth Moss, I’m looking at you kid!)… Caitriona was absolutely robbed on Sunday night and she should have won. She has done INCREDIBLE work on Outlander and her time is coming.  This current season is no different. How I love you!

If you have not watched Outlander, do yourself a favor: 1) buy the books by Diana Gabaldon 2) read all of the books so far 3) get a Starz subscription 4) Binge all available Outlander episodes.

Then, you need to go buy all of the soundtrack music.  Bear McCreary leads you down what can only be described as the most delicious emotional, beautiful journey of ear candy you will ever hear.  His style reminds me so much of Basil Poledouris.  You could literally listen to music and just know what was going on from the instruments being played and the emotion brought forth with the melodies.  YUM.

Emma Stone

LOVE Ms. Stone.  Burn the dress.

Emmy Rossum

I don’t really have a problem with the dress.  Eh, it’s alright. Nothing to write home to Mama about (because she’d probably disapprove anyways … and rightfully so…). However, her make up… It looks like a pretty version of the girl from The Ring’s character makeup. She almost looks sick or something. Not sure.  Can’t really decide.  Here’s something for comparison:

Or maybe this?

You decide.

The Tux Files

Judy Greer

Love me some Judy Greer. She is so fun and so very lovely. She will go down in history with all the greats who wore tuxes successfully. Such as Celine Dion, Beyonce, Annie Lennox and Diane Keaton, of course.

Ms. Greer, give me a holler the next time you are in Georgia and I’ll treat you to some coffee! Standing invitation.

ICONS

Carol Burnett

Forever one of my favorites. Can do no wrong. Her Lifetime Achievement award was so well deserved (and long overdue!).  I love you, Ms. Burnett. **tug at ear**

Glen Close

Isn’t she just divine? She’s so exquisite.  Trivia: Did you know she grew up in a cult?  You should go an read a bio about her life. It’s really quite fascinating. She’s awesome. Congrats on your win, Ms. Close!

Jamie Lee Curtis

I actually dig her outfit. I love that she is rocking the silver hair. I’m sure Billy Idol is proud.

Julia Roberts

Perfection.  At this point in the game, she can wear whatever she wants. I love the neutral color against the black pants. Her hair is gorgeous as always.  I want to be Julia when I grow up.

Nicole Kidman

Is this dress painted on? Like a glove, people. We’ll call this Liquid Body. She likes these form fitting, long sleeved gowns.  This isn’t the first time she has worn something like this.

HONORABLE MENTION

Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell

#relationshipgoals

They are two of the most likeable, real, decent people (at least from what they portray on social media) that I have seen. And the internet is always reality? Right?

I love Ms. Bell’s deep neckline and the sheerness of the skirt.  She is just a gorgeous lady.  Have you seen she is hosting a new show called Encore?  All my music peeps check it out here — this could be your moment!   https://abc.go.com/movies-and-specials/encore

Felicity Huffman

Ms. Huffman looks like a glowing, perfect Oscar Statue. I love her. Nice hem job. (finally, someone gets it right!)

Claire Foy

I love me some Claire Foy. She’s so tangy.  She brings old school glamour with a touch of spice that I just love.  She’s like having the zest of an orange sprinkled on top of a warm cinnamon roll. It just works.

Connie Britton

Gah, love the texture of this dress. I love the fit. I love the bodice. I do not like the hemline. Something to strive for next time. Also, she has GREAT hair and she does not age. Not a bad combo.

Alison Brie and Dave Franco

I love this couple’s look. I know absolutely zilch about either one of them.  Ms. Brie looks stunning with the sheer straps over her sparkle bodice. Honestly, I think we all should wear sparkly bodices every second of every day.

Halle Berry

I’m not feeling the color or the patterns on the dress.  What I do like is the style and how it absolutely  hugs all the right places. Gina Rodriguez, take note of how to do a plunging neckline without the saggy booby syndrome. This lady knows all the tricks. Hit her up.

BEST DRESSED

7) Lupita Nyong’o

GODDESS in Violet.  I love how this woman is so bold with color on the red carpet.  She is not afraid to play with textures and different styles but yet remaining true to what compliments her.  Be who you are and do it on purpose, y’all.  Bravo.

 

6) Alison Janney

Hands down.  Ms. Janney is such a babe.  This dress is absolutely perfect for this award’s show. The draping shoulder line is so lovely with the long sleeves.  She looks like she was just poured into this dress. All Hail to the Queen! Now, if we could just get her to do The Jackal in this dress – my life would be complete!

5) Charlize Theron

This woman. Consistent and knows what is fresh and what compliments her.  The black and white on her looks so different than on Amber Heard, agreed? J’adore. Yes.

4) Bradley Cooper and Irina Shayk

Holy crap on a biscuit. Ms. Shayk is absolutely gorgeous. Who’s the dude?  I can’t take my eyes off of Ms. Shayk. At the end of the day, for these award shows, you want something that is going to make you feel good. Something that is going to compliment you in all the right places. Something that makes you feel and look like a star.

Ms. Shayk, mission accomplished.

Mr. Cooper, I have not had a chance to watch “A Star Is Born.”  However, I heard your interview on the Bobby Bones Show and enjoyed it thoroughly. I look forward to watching it when it’s available for rent.

3) Octavia Spencer

My sweet Octavia.  I will forever be your adoring fan.  Such a classy lady.  The style, the shoulders, the length, the fabric, the shoes.. A++++.

2) Sandra Oh

How perfectly old school, elegant and classy. I think this dress is perfect with the perfect hemline.  She is such a treat. Killing Eve is fantastic. Congrats on your win!  If you haven’t watched it, get on it! She is one of my absolute faves!

Also, while I’m so stoked Ms. Oh got to host, I think the material lacked and did not work. In my opinion, Andy Samberg was not the best choice for a partner. He’s just bad and was not funny (SNOOZE FEST).  Kinda like when James Franco was paired with Anne Hathaway at the Oscars. WHHYY?

HFPA, bring Amy and Tina back to host!

MY NUMBER ONE BEST DRESSED

Danai Gurira

YAAAAAS!! If you are going to do color, do it LOUD AND PROUD. It’s like she dipped herself in lava and invited us all to her own special party.  Yes, I’m RSVP’ing.  This is how you do it, people.  These award shows are meant for risks and this one was worth it. Delicious diva.

There you have it folks! 2019 Golden Globes are wrapped!  Before you go… here’s a poll on the most debated discussion about this award show:

Did she or didn’t she?  You decide.

Did Chrissy Metz call Alison Brie a b**ch on a hot mic?

Click here to be the judge!